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The closer you get to radical oradvanced crossdressing the more normal it feels; if you look great youfeel great and denial becomes less of a factor. The simple act of learninghow to walk well in high heels will counteract the denial for the more youdo it the more natural it becomes lessening the denial. Walking in heelsis addictive, not always comfortable, but undeniably addictive. The seedsof denial are the feelings of guilt and shame and these feelings areentirely self destructive. Stop and think about it. Crossdressing hurtsno one else so why should we allow it to hurt ourselves? Put that bag ofbricks down. One of my crossdressing fantasies centers around the thoughtof "what would you do if you were the last human being on earth." Raiseyour hand if you would crossdress full time every day. If your hand is upand you could imagine this scenario would you even consider itcrossdressing or would it simply be the real you coming to the forefrontwithout fear of judgement?Purging is. Maybe, she thought, if a child did appear, it still might provide the family she wanted so badly. If Randy had been fooled into believing someone else's baby was his once, might it not work again?Yes, she knew it wasn't right, but Randy knew it wasn't right to deceive her about his ability to have children. Perhaps turn about was fair play. She ignored Trent's recounting of Randy being a just a so-so father, telling herself it would be different this time. She would make it work and they would be happy. The only question was who she could get to father the child. Of course Trent would be only too happy to oblige, but that presented all kinds of complications including the statutory rape charges if anyone ever found out. No, it would have to be someone else. She considered an anonymous sperm donor, but what a gamble that would be in terms of what the child would look like and then there were potential health problems. No, an unknown sperm donor was out as well. But who? It was then.
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